1. spockward:

    hey you wanna do a fun prank we can hold hands and cuddle and makeout and make everyone think we’re dating it will be so hilarious

    (Source: avatarstateyipyip, via highfunctioningsociopath98)

  2. condescetier:








    A tip from your favorite nurse

    (that’d be me)

    Always have eggs in your fridge

    You just never know when someone will split their head open

    Or cut their finger while cooking

    And so on

    See that membrane there?

    While the blood is gushing - hold pressure and crack open an egg

    Peel that there membrane off and put it on the wound (continue holding pressure)

    The membrane will harden and keep the wound closed until you can get to the ER for stitches

    If you even need them that is

    Nature: 1, Band aids: 0

    You’re welcome.

    I did some research on this (because I do that now, fucking science get out) and it seems that this was done in the early 1900s somewhat frequently. It was used as a way to treat just about any kind of skin wound, from burn to cut to in at least one case an ulcer. It actually helps the wound heal not by preventing blood loss but by replacing part of the skin tissue and helping it grow.

    It also helps in healing scars and reducing their visibility.

    Whoah science.




    Also, if you have a splinter, smack one of these things on there and it will draw it out of your skin. No more shitting around with pliers.

    it will also suck the poison stuff out of mosquito bites and stop them from being itchy

    woaaah i didnt know!! awesome stuff :D

    Did not know the mosquito bite or splinter thing!  EGGS—IS THERE ANYTHING THEY CAN’T DO?

    They cant fix the economy

    (via highfunctioningsociopath98)

  3. nazmatik:

    "hold up let me put this fucking lime in that ATM real quick"

    (Source: aperture-of-consciousness, via highfunctioningsociopath98)

  4. tomtenacious:


    X-ray of a meat grinder injury to the arm and hand

    "not sure if this arm is broken or not, lets get an x-ray so we can assess the dam-OH MY GOD"

    (Source: malformalady, via senseigiggles)

  5. jellybabiesandfishcustard:

    The Doctor’s Foods

    (via doctorwho)

  6. doctorwho:


    Did The Doctor really just pull out a cigarette case filled with Jelly babies and offer one? Do you know how awesome and classic that is?!

    It’s #Doctor Who Tumblr Jelly Baby Hour!

  7. pencilstab:

    Bald eagle screeches in the distance

    Based on this headcanon

    (via andurile)


  9. unbrilliant:

    are you a donut without the u? because dont. 

    (Source: kochela, via feimoonasianchoy)


    1. drive thru guy: bye have a nice day
    2. me: bye i love you